Boredom
by dragoon811
Summary: What happens when everyone get incredibly bored? Well...I think you'll have to read and find out...R&R please! ^.~ Last 2 chapters up!! *DONE!*
1. Everyone Is Bored

Boredom  
  
Disclaimer: I do not any FY characters. I borrow them! (  
  
And please review! I like reviews! ...  
  
Part One: Everyone is Bored ...  
  
Hotohori sat dejectedly on his throne, vaguely listening to the droning voices of his councilors tell him about things he already knew from traveling throughout Kounan with Miaka and the others.  
  
Bored to tears, he stared out the window, watching the eagles fly. He could, if he tried, pretend that he could see the peak of Mt. Taikyouku in the distance. Right now, even the Nyan-Nyan would be a comfort. He was bored. Utterly and completely bored.  
  
...  
  
Nuriko looked out at the garden as his best friend, Houki, told him about all that had been happening in the harem since he'd been relieved of that particular post, thanks to Miaka's mirror image.  
  
He wondered what Hotohori was doing now, and also what Tasuki was up to.  
  
Just then a very loud crash came from the kitchens, and Miaka, her arms full of food, raced down the hall, followed by some angry cooks.  
  
Nuriko managed a small smile.  
  
Oh yeah. He was most definitely bored.  
  
...  
  
Tasuki finished the bottle of sake and peered into the empty container drunkenly, then heaved a sigh. There was nothing to do except drink, and now the whole palace was out of sake. Darn.  
  
Now what?  
  
...  
  
Chichiri watched his line bob up and down on the surface of the small pond. There weren't any fish biting today, and he was bored. Not even going SD and saying 'no da' was cheering him up.  
  
Suddenly deciding to take action, he went to visit Taiitsukun on her mountain.  
  
...  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Mitsukake doesn't seem to get bored, as he lived as a hermit for a year, so I'm going to leave him outta this, okays? ^.^  
  
End part one! More soon, I promise!! ( 


	2. When You're Bored, Ask For Help! no da

Boredom  
  
Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape or form own any part of FY, unless of course I somehow magically own stock in Pioneer, which I doubt. ^.~ So don't sue me, I'm broke!  
  
Part Two: When You're Bored, Ask For Help!  
  
...  
  
Taiitsukun looked down at Chichiri. "What do you mean, everyone's bored?"  
  
"Well, everyone except Miaka and Tamahome, no da, and maybe Mitsukake and Tama, too, no da!" The monk sighed. "There's nothing to do, and I'm about to go crazy, no da! Any ideas?"  
  
The creator of the universe smiled in a way that terrified the Nyan-Nyan but Chichiri missed. "Oh, I do...Go back and tell all of them to meet in the throne room. I'll be there shortly."  
  
"Okay, no da!" Feeling better, Chichiri popped into his kasa and went back to Kounan.  
  
Taiitsukun turned to the Nyan-Nyan. "This will be fun..."  
  
The Nyan-Nyan eeped and hid. "Scary face! Scary face!"  
  
*BAM*  
  
The Nyan-Nyan went sailing through the convenient hole in the roof and Taiitsukun floated over to her supply of non-boring things to do.  
  
..  
  
Okay, now what's gonna happen?! What does the Old Bag have up her sleeve?! Run for it! Oh...you're still here? Well then, I'll post more soon! Yay! 


	3. Okay, Ask, But Not HER! Not HER!

Boredom  
  
Disclaimer: I STILL don't own FY, though I'm waiting for the reply to the blackmail...*uh-oh! Feds are here! Run!* ^.~  
  
Part Three: Okay, Ask, But Not HER! Not HER!!!  
  
...  
  
"Why are we all here?" Tasuki slurred as he staggered into the throne room.  
  
Hotohori was close behind him, having taken a moment to slip into his more casual garments. "I was wondering that myself..."  
  
Nuriko made a waving motion with his hand as if that was neither here nor there. Yeah, Chiri-chan...you PROMISED to make us un-bored..."  
  
Chichiri sweat-dropped. "Daa...She'll be here soon, no da..."  
  
"She?" Nuriko asked, perking his head up. "Wait a minute, Chiri...you can't mean...HER?!?!"  
  
Chichiri nodded happily, and Nuriko moaned. "Oh, no...not the Old Bag!!"  
  
Suddenly, fireballs of doom fell from the ceiling, turning Nuriko into a crispy seishi, and somewhere else in the palace, Tamahome was also fried.  
  
(Author's privilege...bwa ha ha ha...)  
  
"I'm sorry!" Nuriko cried, duck-and-cover-ing behind Hotohori.  
  
"Aah! Not behind me!" Hotohori said, squealing like a girl and running away. "My beautiful hair will get singed!"  
  
Nuriko pouted.  
  
"I am NOT an Old Bag!" Taiitsukun said, popping into the room with two Nyan- Nyans laden with boxes. The seishi looked apprehensively at the boxes. "And anyone who calls me that will be tortured by fireballs of doom!"  
  
Nuriko, Chichiri and Hotohori sweat-dropped. Tasuki peered owslishly at the floating creator of life as he knew it. Then he screamed. "AAH! It's King Tut's Grand-Mummy! Save me! Save me! Save me! Heeelllpp!!"  
  
He leaped into Chichiri's arms, only to be dropped immediately as the monk ran for cover.  
  
More fireballs of doom fell from the ceiling.  
  
"LEKKA SHINEN! LEKKA SHINEN!" Tasuki said, trying to fight fire with fire.  
  
In the end, he was fried, but, again, somewhere in the palace, so was Tamahome. Miaka was too busy eating to notice the strange phenomenon.  
  
Taiitsukun smiled evilly at the seishi. "Chichiri says you're bored, and I have some great ideas to keep you all occupied."  
  
They all gulped, looking at each other nervously.  
  
...  
  
(Mwa ha ha ha!! I live to torture them all! NOW what shall I do?) Read on! More soon! 


	4. Okay, She CAN'T Be Serious, Can She!

Boredom  
  
Disclaimer: Well, now that I've escaped from the Looney Bin, where the feds put me after discovering my list of fun yet terribly evil things to do to voodoo dolls of those who insult my Hoto-sama...heh heh...me bad... I am sad to say that I do *not* own FY. Still. *insert tragic pose and sigh here* ( Enjoy!  
  
Part Four: *Moans* She CAN'T be serious...Can she?!  
  
...  
  
Taiitsukun reached into one of the boxes and pulled out a script. "Hmm...let's see...what haven't I done for a few decades?.......Did that to those Genbu kids... Did that to the Nyan-Nyans when they bothered me...hmm.Ah-hah! Here! I'll start with this!"  
  
She raised her head and looked at Tasuki. "Come here."  
  
Tasuki whimpered but obeyed, stopping a few feet from Taiitsukun.  
  
"Now, close your eyes..." When the bandit complied, she waved her hand, and the other seishi looked terrified. "Okay, now open them."  
  
Tasuki did so, then looked down. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!"  
  
Scared stiff, he ran away and hid behind the throne. "YOU OLD BAG! HOW DARE YOU! YOU *Beep*-ing *Beep*!"  
  
Nuriko smiled. At least that wasn;t him. "Come on, Tasuki, it's not that bad..."  
  
Tasuki glared at Nuriko, suddenly not-so drunk anymore. "You cross-dresser! What would you know?"  
  
"Come out here and let me see," Taiitsukun demanded. When the bandit stupidly refused to comply, she had the Nyan-Nyans drag him out. "Ah...I forgot something...This outfit is missing something...Here you go, Tasuki!"  
  
Hotohori paled as he looked at the *lovely* outfit that Tasuki now sported: a short, frilly, dress covered with pink polka-dots and lots of bows and ruffles and lace. Of course, the outfit included a fluffy tail, cute ears, Mary Janes, and, now, the final touch, makeup. He sent a swift prayer to Suzaku that he wouldn't have to look anything like that.  
  
Tasuki looked like he was going to 'Lekka Shinen' something - or someone. "*Beep*! *Beep*! *Beep*!"  
  
Chichiri suddenly seemed very sorry to have asked Taiitsukun for help. "Daa...why did I do this, no da?"  
  
Nuriko cackled at Tasuki. "Oh, Tasuki-chan! You look so cute! You should join the harem!"  
  
Hotohori looked stricken at THAT possibility, and Tasuki grabbed his tessen from the unsuspecting Nyan-Nyan. Nuriko eeped and starting running.  
  
"GET BACK HERE, GAY BOY! YOU CAN'T MAKE FUN OF ME! I'M A *Beep*-ING BANDIT! I *Beep*-ING HATE GIRLS! *Beep*! LEKKA SHINEN!" Nuriko ducked the flames and hid behind a table. When the fire ceased, he picked up the table and launched it.  
  
The table hit Tasuki with a resounding smack and he crashed into the wall, leaving a nice, bandit-sized imprint there.  
  
"Not so bored now, eh?" Taiitsukun smirked as she flipped through the script of things to do to people. "Who to help next...I wonder..."  
  
...  
  
I wonder too, actually! (Poor Tasuki! Gomen to Tasuki fans out there!) ^_^  
  
I want to know who she's going to torment - I mean, er...help - next! This can't be good! Taiitsukun seems to be a little too much like me for this fic...  
  
mumble I can't believe I'm going to do something to Hoto-sama and Nuri- chan... And if Inu hears of what happens to Chichiri, I am *so* dead...O.o  
  
Will a rabid anime fangirl or rabid anime fanboy save me from a horrible fate? Or will I suddenly be forced to give Taiitsukun even more ideas??  
  
Let's find out! Stay tuned for Part Five! Wheee!! =^_^=  
  
Na no da! 


	5. Next Victim, no da!

Boredom  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FY. I wish I did, but I don't. Maybe I should just make a blanket disclaimer for the fic saying I don't like I did for my one of my other fics...O.o Maybe not. This is kinda fun. ^_^  
  
Part Five: Next Victim, no da!  
  
...  
  
"So what'm I supposed to do?" Tasuki demanded of Taiitsukun, jumping up and down.  
  
"Be quiet."  
  
Fireballs of doom fell from the ceiling, frying both Tasuki, and, once again, Tamahome. (Why does this keep happening?! O.o)  
  
Tasuki coughed out a puff of smoke.  
  
"For my next victim, I choose."  
  
Chichiri whimpered, Hotohori looked nervous, and Nuriko just looked pale. Tasuki didn't dare move.  
  
"Nuriko!"  
  
The purple-haired seishi whammed his head against the wall in despair. "Why me? Why me? Why not Chichiri? This was his idea..."  
  
Chichiri turned to his friend. "That's mean of you to say, no da! I just wanted to help us not be bored, no da!"  
  
Hotohori was merely relieved that he was not the choice this time.  
  
"I don't think I want to do this," Nuriko said, coming cautiously up to stand in front of Taiitsukun. "I don't remember signing up for the 'no- boredom' class, either..."  
  
Taiitsukun merely smiled evilly. "You can't escape, Nuriko. I was asked to help, so here I am! Don't waste my time! I am the emperor of heaven!"  
  
The Nyan-Nyans poked their heads out from behind Taiitsukun. "We can cure your perversion! Fix! Fix! Heal! Heal!"  
  
*BAM!*  
  
The annoying little Nyan-Nyans went flying through the roof, and Nuriko cracked his knuckles.  
  
Hotohori tried not to worry about how much repairs on the palace were going to cost. That money could be redirected towards the country, but *no*. He had to let all the seishi stay at the palace as a gesture of kindness and friendship. And yet they demolished it anyway.  
  
"So...Do I get to run around in drag, too?" Nuriko asked Taiitsukun cheerfully, trying to laugh off his sudden sense of dread.  
  
"You'd like it. Where would the fun be in that?" Taiitsukun asked him. Nuriko's expression went to forcefully cheerful to extremely depressed.  
  
In a poof, Nuriko had been transformed into a tall, overly-muscular man wearing a speedo.  
  
"Ho ho ho ho ho! At least I'm still beautiful!" Nuriko tried to laugh it off, but the feminine voice from the beefy body was absolutely ludicrous and Tasuki forgot his own predicament to laugh at him.  
  
"Hah-hah! Lookit Gay Boy now!!"  
  
*WHAM*  
  
Tasuki went flying into the wall.  
  
Taiitsukun smiled evilly at the two remaining seishi. "Well? Nervous yet?"  
  
...  
  
Oooh, cliffhanger! Yay!  
  
^.^  
  
I feel that I need to apologize to Nuriko for this, but he'll forgive me. I'll just write it that he does. (bwa ha ha...I love being the author...)  
  
So...Who shall be next? I bet the title here faked you out and you thought Chichiri was next...Heh heh heh...  
  
But it's down to two more seishi! And Tamahome is still *somehow* getting hit by fireballs of doom...(tries to look innocent and fails miserably)  
  
Why am I so cruel? Why? Why?! ^.~  
  
And who is going to stop the Old Bag from her insane rampage?! I guess this means I have to come up with some more chapters...O.o... 


	6. Monk

Boredom  
  
Disclaimer: FY DOES NOT BELONG TO MEEE!!! I AM BROKE! DON'T SUE MEEE!!!!  
  
I just saw Two Towers for the third time today, and when Theoden is asking th dude: "Who am I?" and the guy says: "You are our king", I'm thinking: and next, Theoden is gonna say "HAH!! FOOLED YOU! I'M SARUMAN!!! BWA HA HA!!!" and run off laughing. O.o  
  
Why me? Another author gomen, but I forget who!! -.-; was saying that she was doing a "You're a hobbit, Merry" spoof of Harry Potter. ( I thought it was funny, so I'd like to add to that: "You're a hobbit, Merry...haven't you ever wondered about your appetite?", as well as a new one:"You're an Istari, Gandalf..."  
  
AHH!!! I've spent ten minutes typing dumb stuff!! Ano..Story!!!! (  
  
Part Six: Monk  
  
*  
  
"Well, nervous yet?"  
  
The two remaining seishi looked at each other and gulped.  
  
"Yes, no da..." Chichiri said.  
  
"Yes?" Hotohori said hesitantly, as if he was unsure of the answer.  
  
Taiitsukun smirked evilly and turned to Chichiri. "I know JUST what to do with you..."  
  
Chichiri wondered if he could use his kasa to escape and still have a clean conscience.  
  
"What-what are you going to do to me, no da?"  
  
Taiitsukun waved her hand, and Chichiri screamed. The others looked at him curiously, as his appearance hadn't changed a bit.  
  
"MAKE IT STOP, NO DA!!!!" He clapped a hand over him eyes, but it didn't end the torment.  
  
Nuriko looked at the monk curiously. "What did she do? You look the same to me..."  
  
Chichiri whimpered. "I-I'm seeing all sorts of perverted images, no da! I;m a MONK!! I'm celibate, no da!!!"  
  
Tasuki sweat-dropped and suddenly seemed happy to be in drag.  
  
Hotohori just looked at Chichiri, wild-eyed. So it wasn't just physical torture, but psychological as well? He whimpered softly to himself, and Nuriko came over and patted his shoulder.  
  
"There, there, Hotohori-sama...You'll still be beautiful to me, no matter what..."  
  
The emperor just looked a little but green at that. "Thanks...I think..."  
  
Nuriko beamed, positively euphoric for Hotohori thanking him. "Anytime, Hotohori-sama!"  
  
Chichiri was trying very hard to focus his magic to get rid of the perverted images dancing in his head, but nothing was working. He glanced at Tasuki and screamed. "DAAAAAAAAA!!!! NOO!!!!!"  
  
Taiitsukun cackled. "And did I mention that when you look at someone you'll see perverted things featuring THEM?"  
  
Tasuki crossed his arms over himself. "Oi! Don't be thinking of ME like that!"  
  
"It's not on purpose, no da! It's her fault!" He glanced at Taiitsukun. "AAAAHH!!!"  
  
Hotohori tried to hide behind the throne, but the Old Bag saw him first. "Oh, no, you don't...I have grand plans for you..."  
  
*  
  
Oi! To be continued!  
  
(And ya can't stop me!!! Mwa ha ha ha!!!)  
  
:-D  
  
Sorry...I am too weird for my own good! :-D  
  
See you next chapter! R&R please!!! :-D 


	7. I'm Too Sexy

Boredom  
  
Disclaimer: Fushigi Yugi (or, as pronounced by our cheerful local comic shop manager: Fuhshigee Iggy, Foosheegee Yigee, Fooshigi Yeegee, etc...He cannot pronounce it to save his life! Ask Koorino Megumi...or, better yet, see the reference to him in her FY fic "Ragdolls"! Yay!) does not belong to me! I really wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner...oops! I mean, I wish it belonged to me!  
  
Ya know, I keep taking these FY character tests, and ya know who I always am?  
  
...NURIKO! O.o!;  
  
Maybe that's good, maybe that's bad. Maybe I AM Nuriko! I mean, I adore Hotohori, I'm pretty strong, am mother-ish, and have a tendency to smack people, be it into a wall or with a handy chair or table. O.o; Always have...OH, NO!! I AM NURIKO!!!  
  
I think I should apologize for poor Chichiri! It was my evil personality, Kurayami, who did it! Not me! ^.^ Well, she is me, so I am her, so I did do it, but I'm not really her, so it wasn't really me, and...uh-oh...Never mind! YOU figure it out! ^.^  
  
*grins insanely*  
  
And, yes, this is the long-awaited Part Seven. I wish it wasn't. I am sorely tempted to have nothing happen to Hotohori, but, then again...I would be so fried if I didn't! And who here noticed that Chichiri actually had the misfortune to glance at Taiitsukun?! Poor guy! I feel so sorry for him! =D  
  
*ahem....* GOMEN! And now...  
  
Part Seven: I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt...  
  
*  
  
Hotohori tried to hide behind the throne, but the Old Bag saw him first. "Oh, no, you don't...I have grand plans for you..."  
  
Hotohori whimpered slightly in dismay. He'd been hoping to escape, but, alas...that clearly wasn't going to happen.  
  
"Wh-" His voice came out dry and scratchy, so he cleared it before trying again. "What are you going to do to me?"  
  
The Old Bag cackled mischievously. "Nothing that would really bother you..."  
  
This seemed to scare him even more. "Would you like to...elaborate? If it's going to make me kill myself, I'd like to leave instructions here for my counselors."  
  
"No, no...this won't kill you..." The Old Bag smirked. " You're going to be a supermodel!"  
  
Hotohori's look brightened until the Old Bag waved her hand and he looked down at his legs encased in tight black jeans, black leather boots with spiked heels and the tight white t-shirt with "angel" written across his breasts in silver glitter.  
  
Wait a minute...BREASTS?!?!  
  
He was a woman! A girl! A female! A femme fatale!  
  
Nuriko grinned. "And I thought I was pretty as a girl!"  
  
Hotohori paled and tried to cover his - er...herself from view. Taiitsukun cackled, and a runway appeared, along with a huge crowd of people. Of course, Chichiri happened to be looking at that direction, and all of the people caused him to run screaming into a wall.  
  
"Come, now, your majesty! Your public awaits you! They want to admire your beauty!"  
  
Hotohori made a mental note to find a way to kill the evil Sunkake-Baba as soon as possible. After he was a man again, of course...  
  
"Just one thing, before you go on," Taiitsukun said maliciously. Hotohori looked at her questioningly. "Remember that, as a model, there is ALWAYS someone more beautiful than you are!"  
  
She felt like crying. More beautiful then her?! Impossible! The Nyan-Nyans gave her a helpful push to the backstage, and the song "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred started up, the beat making the dance cheer wildly as they chanted Hotohori's name.  
  
The Nyan-Nyans had to give her another helpful push onto the stage, and she found that the boots were walking up and down the catwalk on their own!  
  
Horrified, she tried to backpedal or something, so that not so many of these people, grinning and flashing their cameras, would see her like this, but nothing happened, so she wound up working that runway.  
  
At one point, the Nyan-Nyans also shoved Nuriko and Tasuki onto the runway, and Nuriko flexed, grinning at the girls. Tasuki kept trying to run and hide backstage, but the ever-so-unhelpful Nyan-Nyans kept pushing him right back on.  
  
He tried once to leap off the catwalk in order to run out of the room, but the Fireballs of Doom fell on him, stopping him. And, yes, once again, elsewhere in the palace, the Fireballs of Doom also flattened and crisped Tamahome.  
  
Taiitsukun relaxed in the VIP box, watching the 'fashion show'. Chichiri was also on the catwalk now, screaming 'da' and trying to get the insidious images in his mind from dancing so lewdly!  
  
The Nyan-Nyans brought the Old Bag food and drink as she watched the flirtatious Nuriko, panicked Chichiri, desperate Tasuki, and horrified Hotohori do their thing on the stage.  
  
"I'm too sexy for Milan, I'm too sexy for Milan, New York, and Japan...I'm a model, you know what I mean, as I do my little turn on the catwalk...On the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah, I shake my little tush on the catwalk..."  
  
*  
  
Lyrics reprinted sans permission! But the song was done by Right Said Fred. I love that song.  
  
I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THAT TO MY HOTO-SAMA!!!! *falls to the ground, sobbing*  
  
So what will happen next?! Will they escape? Will the Old Bag relent and release them from their curses?  
  
WHY DID I TURN HOTOHORI INTO A GIRL?!?! *smacks self in head*  
  
(Because I did...)  
  
Kurayami! How DARE you!  
  
(*shrugs* Hey, you wanted help...I just did as asked!)  
  
*falls over* Aw, man...gomen ne, Hoto-sama! Forgive meeeeeee!!!!  
  
See you next time! ::poof!:: 


	8. Help!

Boredom  
  
*  
  
Help meeeee!!!!  
  
I am, like, so lost!  
  
If ANYONE has ANY suggestions, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review and help me out!  
  
(or use my lovely author name to get my email addy and send in ideas! ^.^)  
  
Domo Arigatou!  
  
~Honoo Moeru 


	9. Psychological Dysfunction

Boredom  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yugi! But I can't leave them alone! I must plays with them! They are my precious!!! *starts doing Gollum impressions* Sorry - I've seen "Two Towers" about four times now...I love that movie! ^.^ And if u haven't seen it, I insist that you do. For your own health, you understand...  
  
And, yes, I know, I am a lazy bum who is out of ideas! *cries* I'm really sorry about the last time!  
  
But, hey! At least I have an idea now, thanks to *takes a deep breath to get this out* Sister to Daughter of Darkness!!! Well, okay, so I took part of it and have added more of my own parts...But I think it's okay! I just needed some help! ^.~  
  
I've been a bit sick with a cold. (  
  
Have I mentioned yet that I loathe, hate, despise, abhor, and detest Tamahome? As does my other "personality", Kurayami?  
  
(Or Kura for short.)  
  
You're still here?! I thought I kicked you out! *ahem* Well, folks I'd like you to meet Kura. She's my evil side.  
  
(*smirks and grins* I really hope that no one out there really likes Tamahome...)  
  
I'm sure SOMEONE does, but, eh...Who cares?  
  
(Rightly said, Moeru-chan...So! What torture shall I inflict today?)  
  
Tamahome might make an appearance. We're BOTH going to be torturing a certain green-haired seishi with an Oni symbol on his forehead.  
  
(Ooh, goody...twice the pain and a million times the fun!)  
  
And to chibigenius, whom, I know, if she ever reads this - gomen that u like Tasuki, but I couldn't care less!  
  
And to all Hotohori lovers like me out there: I AM SORRY!! I AM SORRY!! I AM SO SO SORRY!!!! *bow, bow*  
  
(*rolls eyes* You're pathetic, you know that, right?)  
  
I'm what?! *looks horrified*  
  
(Pathetic.)  
  
Oh. Okay. *shrugs* Well, now that we've spent about a page griping at each other, we should get to "work", right? *evil grin*  
  
(*snickers and smirks* Oh, yes. We should do that...)  
  
psst! Forgive her! She likes Nakago! ^.^  
  
(I HEARD THAT!)  
  
Umm...Story! Right! ^.^;  
  
Part Eight: Psychological Dysfunction  
  
*  
  
"Make it stop!" Tasuki whined to Nuriko as the Nyan-Nyans forced him to 'shake his little tush on the catwalk.'  
  
Nuriko grinned at him, flexing his six pack and arms, making a few females near him faint, and quite a few others got wobbly-kneed.  
  
Hotohori blushed as she received cat-calls from the men, and tried to get Nuriko's attention. Maybe the strong seishi could hold her down or something to make this stop.  
  
*  
  
A few Nyan-Nyans brought Taiitsukun some fresh grapes and fizzy apple cider what did you think I was going to let the old bag get drunk and make things worse?! as she reclined in the VIP box, enjoying herself immensely.  
  
*  
  
Meanwhile, Tamahome was in the process of escorting Miaka to the kitchen in search of more food, when they went past the throne room, and heard a lot of noise.  
  
"Oh! I know this song!" Miaka said gleefully, bounding past Tamahome to the doors, pulling them open.  
  
Their jaws dropped at the sight of Tasuki and Nuriko parading on the catwalk, and - damn! Who the hell was that incredibly hot girl?!  
  
Tamahome's eyes got very shiny. A girl with an actual bust-line! And those legs! She turned, and he got a good look at her very nice rear. He started over to her.  
  
"TAMAHOME!" Miaka shrieked. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"  
  
"Well, Miaka, you don't have what a REAL woman has!" He shouted back, beating his way through the throng to the stage.  
  
*  
  
Taiitsukun sat forward. Oh, this was unexpected. Fun, but unexpected. Maybe she could help make it even more fun, in just a little while...  
  
*  
  
Tamahome leaped onto the stage next to the girl, who gave him a rather cheerful look.  
  
"Tamahome! Can you help stop this?"  
  
'She said my name!' he thought happily to himself. "No...I don't think so...what's your name, gorgeous?"  
  
Hotohori glared at him. "You imbecile! It's me!"  
  
"Nice to meet you, Me!" He grinned at her. "Care to go on a date?"  
  
If she could have smacked him, she would. Instead, she turned to Nuriko. "Nuriko! Tamahome's trying to pick me up!"  
  
"What?!" The muscle-bound stud exclaimed, sauntering over to them.  
  
"Nuri-chan! You're ripped!" Miaka said, finally having made her way over to the edge of the stage.  
  
He grinned at her. "I know. Aren't I hot?"  
  
Miaka nodded, and Nuriko turned back to Hotohori. "What do you want me to do about him?"  
  
"Well - make him stop! Do like you did with that bandit who kept attaching himself to me!" she huffed out, feeling suddenly very female and vulnerable to the advances of men. And she really didn't like the feeling, deciding, in a rather uncharacteristic surge of violence, that if the boots hadn't been forcing her to work the catwalk she would kick Tamahome in the groin for him impertinence.  
  
"Oooh...like that, huh?" Nuriko grinned even wider. "Sure thing, Your Majesty!"  
  
And with that, Tamahome went crashing through the far wall.  
  
"'Your Majesty'?" Miaka said slowly, looking up at a very unpleased female. Surprise dawned on her. "Hotohori?! Is that YOU?!"  
  
"Yes," she said softly, turning pink.  
  
"Aww!! You're so cute! And pretty, too! Why didn't you tell me that you were really a girl? I mean, I could have sworn that you were a man, and - "  
  
"MIAKA!" Hotohori yelled, trying to get her attention. "I AM a man! This is all Taiitsukun's fault!"  
  
Miaka stared at her blankly. "Taiitsukun?"  
  
"Yes, Taiitsukun," Hotohori explained to her impatiently. "Who do you THINK did this awful thing? And why else would there be Nyan-Nyans using Tasuki like a puppet?! And making Nuriko in a Speedo, covered with muscles?! And - and ME like THIS?!"  
  
"That would explain the Fireballs of Doom that Tamahome said were landing on him, even though I never saw them," Miaka mused. "Where IS Taiitsukun, then?"  
  
Nuriko pointed to the VIP box. "She's up there. I feel really sorry for Chichiri..."  
  
He pointed to where the monk sat in shock, rocking back and forth as he stared a blank wall, muttering 'no da' to himself, over and over again.  
  
Miaka sweat-dropped. "What did she do to him? He looks okay to me..."  
  
"He's seeing really dirty things, near as I can tell," Nuriko told her. "And she turned poor Hotohori into a supermodel! Now, being a female model isn't so bad, but she told her the truth, that as a model there is always someone more beautiful..."  
  
"Do you have to bring THAT up?!" Hotohori said, walking past them again. "Nuriko! Help me stop these boots! My feet are killing me in these heels!"  
  
Nuriko cheerfully grabbed the emperor and Miaka clambered onto the stage, yanking on the boots until they came out and she fell into the audience, who cleared out the way.  
  
She landed with a loud thud, the music ceasing. "Ouch..."  
  
*  
  
Taiitsukun leaned back on the cushions, thinking of a way to make things more interesting. Suddenly she smiled and snapped her fingers.  
  
*  
  
And, far away, someone else disappeared, transformed to Taiitsukun's whim, and appeared on the stage.  
  
*  
  
Fin for now! ^_^  
  
I feel really really sorry for almost forgetting about Chichiri! *smacks self in the head*  
  
(Stop it. You'll give us a bruise. So, who are you dragging into this NOW?)  
  
*smirks* Oh, you'll see, Kurayami...you'll see...  
  
(Guess so...But I did have fun smacking Tamahome into a wall. And what is with Hotohori suffering from female-emotions syndrome? Girls don't always act like that, you know.)  
  
Yeah, but he's never had such a large, sudden does of estrogen in his bloodstream before, now has he?  
  
(Guess not. *shrugs* Well, maybe we should wrap it up for now and leave them all hanging in suspense.)  
  
'No duh, no da.' Besides, I have to work on the FY Trip to Six Flags fic. I like that one. Sadly, no one seems to read my Moeru and Hotohori Wind Up Where?! Fic. I liked that one so much, and no reads it! Or, if they do, they don't review. I mean, I know the ending sucks, but if they give me suggestions, I could change it! I know I need to! *cries*  
  
(You're pathetic.)  
  
*sniffle* I know...Well, see you all next time! ^.^  
  
(Yeah. Bye. I promise not to kill Tamahome until you're all here to watch, okies?)  
  
Byes! (Bye!)  
  
::poof!!!:: 


	10. Creating A Problem

Boredom  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FY. I wish that I did. But, hey! I own most of the series on VHS! And the OVAs on DVD and Eikou Den on DVD!! So....*twitches* Must...watch...Hoto-sama...*drool*...  
  
(Heh heh.)  
  
Kura! I thought that you left?  
  
(I did. I'm back.)  
  
*rolls eyes* You're evil.  
  
(Natch, babe.)  
  
So...You've been mean to my Hoto-sama.  
  
(You betcha.)  
  
So...if I made you mad...?  
  
(Hah. Very funny. Not possible.)  
  
*sigh* Well, alright, if you say so...  
  
Part Nine: Creating a Problem  
  
*  
  
Miaka patted Hotohori's hand comfortingly. "Don't listen to what she said...there is no one more beautiful than you!"  
  
Hotohori tried to smile. "I know that..."  
  
Suddenly the lights grew dim to a single point, and a soft drumroll started.  
  
"And now," a Nyan-Nyan said into a microphone. "I introduce to you all the most beautiful super model on the face of the earth - no! The entire universe!"  
  
Hotohori paled and wished that the spotlight would focus on Taiitsukun. She meant, Nuriko would be alright, but he was standing next to her. So who...?  
  
A puff of smoke and a revealed a tall, slim blonde woman with wide blue eyes who took one look at her surroundings and...  
  
*  
  
HAH HAH!!!  
  
(You didn't just do what I think you did...?)  
  
*grins widely* Wouldn't YOU like to know?  
  
(*pales* You...You...I know where you live! *chases her with a mallet*)  
  
*runs for it* Um...eep!!!  
  
*  
  
And she was silent. Utterly, completely silent. The crowd watched as a blue character began to glow on her forehead until she bellowed:  
  
"WHO DID THIS?!?!?!"  
  
Taiitsukun suddenly began to wonder if this was such a good idea after all...  
  
*  
  
Ta da! End!  
  
(*grabs a frying pan now* Hiiii-yaaa!!!!)  
  
Ack!!! Run! She's loose! Um...see you all next time! *takes off down the block, shouting*  
  
Kura it was just a joke! I'll fix him later, I promise! Please! Come on! Take a joke! AIYAH!!! HELP MEEEE!!!!!  
  
(You're not getting away so easily! Get back here! MOERU!!!!)  
  
*::poof!!::* 


	11. An Even Bigger Problem

Boredom  
  
Disclaimer: *moans* I AM A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE PERSON! ^_^  
  
My bud has the first ½ of the series on DVD drool and a DVD- burner, so they r going to burn it for me! (Then, someday, after the anime convention, I shall buy BOTH halves! Mwa ha ha ha!!!) *ahem* So, kids, this is illegal and YOU shouldn't do it. I get to because I have it on order for after the convention but want to watch it b4 then on DVD. U see, I only have the VHS version - dubbed. *shudders* Anyhoo.  
  
I DO NOT OWN FY!!!!! *runs away* ^-^  
  
Yes, Kura is going to kill me...  
  
(*cracks knuckles* Oh, yeah. You betcha.)  
  
*sweat-drop* heh heh...gomen ne! But I PROMISE to fix him!  
  
(You'd better....)  
  
O.o; Right. Story. Fix Nakago...  
  
Part Ten: An Even Bigger Problem  
  
*  
  
Nakago was just as fearsome a female as a male.  
  
Miaka and Tasuki blanched, and Hotohori narrowed her eyes at the blonde bombshell. Nuriko gave Hotohori a sideways look to see how she was taking this.  
  
"I'm far prettier than her!" Hotohori softly. "Saying that she is more beautiful than myself is outrageous!"  
  
Nuriko had to agree with her, and flexed his muscles. "Shall I ugly her up a bit, Hotohori-sama?"  
  
Hotohori smiled. "Go right ahead."  
  
*  
  
Taiitsukun paled as the cold blue stare pierced her.  
  
"YOU!" Nakago snarled, the pink baby-t hugging her large chest as she turned menacingly towards the Old Bag, the tiny leather mini skirt and thigh-high black leather boots with spike heels setting off her long legs. "YOU'RE DEAD!"*  
  
The Nyan-Nyans scattered like leaves in the wind, screaming and running in all directions, leaving the Old Bag stranded.  
  
Taiitsukun smiled at the blonde. "Yes, me! Do you have a problem with that?"  
  
Nakago started pushing her way through the crowd, focusing solely on Taiitsukun. "You'll pay for this perfidy!"  
  
Nuriko and Tasuki were so amused as they watched the blonde push through the crowd that they noticed Hotohori when it was too late.  
  
The emperor, sword in hand, was busy scaling the balcony of the VIP box where Taiitsukun sat.  
  
"Heika..." Nuriko murmured worriedly, watching the small female form.  
  
*  
  
Uh-oh! I need ending help! We're almost done, minna!! ^-^  
  
(FIX HIM!!!!)  
  
*snicker* Working on it! "He" is headed for the Emperor of Heaven right now...  
  
(*grrrr*)  
  
So...when u review please share any ending ideas! There MAY be three or four parts left....^.^ :-P  
  
Also, some people have been asking me where to find an FY Character test I always get Nuriko! So, I have links to two of them!  
  
The first is at www.suzakuseishi.com I don't like that one much - it's weird. No offense! I like it a lot, but I like the second one more! It's easier!!! You enter the site (click on the picture), then go down to where it says "Interact". There's a link called "FY Character Test".  
  
The second test (I'm sorry I don't know the original creator of the test!) is at   
  
So enjoy! And if you want, feel free to let me know who u get when u review! ^.^ I am ALWAYS Nuriko.  
  
(I am always Nakago).  
  
Shut UP, Kurayami!!  
  
(heh. MAKE me!)  
  
*throws her through the ceiling*  
  
(Aaaahh!!!!)  
  
*smirk* See you all soon! 


	12. Payback Part One

Boredom  
  
Disclaimer: Ya know what? I have some very surprising news for all of you...  
  
I DO NOT OWN FY!!!! Woot! Betcha didn't know THAT! Hah ha!  
  
(I think they did. You've only said it for, like, a million times...)  
  
*rolls eyes and glares at Kura*  
  
I thought I threw you through the ceiling...?  
  
(You did. But that was two weeks or so ago, Moeru-chan.)  
  
Oh, right. *looks nervous now* Am I still toast?  
  
(Probably...Did you change him back yet?)  
  
Um...^^;...I am going to! Why do you think I'm here?!  
  
(To entice me to kill you?)  
  
No!!! STORY!! AAAHH!!!  
  
Part Eleven: Payback Part One  
  
*  
  
"Heika..." Nuriko murmured worriedly, watching the small female form.  
  
Miaka patted the beefy bishie's shoulder. "I think she - I mean, he - will be okay."  
  
*  
  
(Hey. You rhymed.)  
  
*sigh* Go away, please? If you interrupt, I can't change them back!  
  
(*shuts up*)  
  
Thank you.  
  
*  
  
Taiitsukun looked around nervously for an exit, and was about to jump - or float, or whatever it is that she does - off the balcony to safety when Hotohori appeared, looking grim, his - her? - aura glowing a fearsome red.  
  
At the same time, Nakago reached the box, also glowing, only blue.  
  
*  
  
(*starts to sing Blue Eyes Blue*)  
  
*strangles her*  
  
(*shuts up*..*for now*)  
  
*  
  
"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!" They shouted, then glared at each other. "SHE'S MINE!!"  
  
"Oi!! Hit 'er a coupla times fer me!" Tasuki shouted up to them. Nuriko bashed him into a wall. "OI!!! What was THAT fer?!"  
  
"Leave them alone!"  
  
Taiitsukun paled. How could she stand up to BOTH of them? Maybe she should send Nakago back - and quickly? Or maybe she should just zap them back to normal, AND send Nakago back?  
  
No..they wanted REVENGE.  
  
And they wanted it badly...  
  
*  
  
A few Nyan-Nyans rushed past them, running for fear of their lives.  
  
Tasuki grinned, brandishing his tessen. "YEAH!! WHACK - A - NYAN-NYAN!!!"  
  
They screamed as "Lekka Shinen" was heard repeatedly.  
  
*  
  
Hotohori and Nakago continued with their glaring contest until Hotohori finally settled into a charming smirk.  
  
"Perhaps we could work together?" she offered the blonde.  
  
The blonde also smirked, but not nearly as bishounen-ly. "Perhaps..."  
  
Taiitsukun wondered if maybe this time she had gone a little too far.  
  
*  
  
(That's it?)  
  
Well, for now...Yeah, kind of... *looks sheepish* Gimme a break! I'm still on vacation-head syndrome!  
  
(*rolls eyes and looks thoroughly exasperated* Why me?)  
  
But I WILL change them back!!! I promise!!!  
  
(Yeah, before Inu sees what you did to Chichiri the Hentai Monk...)  
  
He's not hentai!! He's just seeing hentai things!!  
  
(Oh, you know he liked it...)  
  
O.o!!!!  
  
*clamps a hand over Kura's mouth* Eh...heh heh....Sorry! I have to go wash her brain out with soap!! See you next time!!! ^_~ 


	13. Payback Part Two

Boredom  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FY. Enough said.  
  
(Yeah neither do I!)  
  
Shut up, Kura...  
  
(Ok.)  
  
Part Twelve: Payback Part Two  
  
*  
  
Taiitsukun wondered if maybe this time she had gone a little too far, and remained still as the two enemy-suddenly-allies seishi advanced on her.  
  
She had DEFINITELY gone too far.  
  
The two females smiled, and charged at her.  
  
"WAIT!!!" Chiriko cried, rushing up the stairs behind Nakago. "It's not her fault! She was just - AIIEE!!!!"  
  
One look from the two females sent him running back down the stairs and to his room in tears.  
  
They sighed at the annoyance of the intrusion, and then grimaced. What on earth was this pain in their abdomen...?  
  
They both looked down at the same time and screamed:  
  
"OH GODS!!! I'M BLEEDING!!"  
  
Taiitsukun laughed evilly. "Yes!!! You're bleeding! Just like all the other women!!!"  
  
Nuriko and Miaka gasped in unison at the horror that Taiitsukun had just unleashed upon the two men.  
  
Miaka, for once using her brain, dug through her pocket, grabbed a glass of water, and ran up to them.  
  
Once at the top, she was out of breath so she chugged the water and then she handed each of them two pills labeled "Midol".  
  
"Here! Take them! They'll make you feel better!"  
  
They both looked mistrustfully at the pills, but when the next cramp hit them, they both immediately gulped them down, sans water.  
  
Almost instantly, they smiled and turned to Taiitsukun, who was staring at Miaka, perplexed.  
  
The miko stuck her tongue out at the Old Bag.  
  
The Nyan-Nyans started a score card. It read:  
  
Sunkake Baba: 0 pts  
  
Seishi & Miko: 25 pts  
  
*  
  
At the same time, both Hotohori and Nakago attacked, slashing and ki- blasting as the Old Bag screamed and screamed...  
  
Five minutes later the score card read:  
  
Sunkake Baba: 0 pts  
  
Seishi & Miko: INFINITY pts  
  
Suddenly, a Nyan-Nyan grabbed a bullhorn from nowhere and shouted:  
  
"And now, the final match! It's down to sudden death between Taiitsukun Scary-face and the women!!!"  
  
The three faced off.  
  
The broken, bruised, bloodied, and rather battered Emperor of Heaven forced a smile at them. "You-you can't change back without me!"  
  
"Ah-hah!" The Nyan-Nyan announcer said, gesturing wildly. "Taiitsukun Scary- face has started her attack with...THE KNOWLEDGE OF OLD AGE!!"  
  
"WHO'RE YOU CALLING OLD?!" Taiitsukun yelled at the Nyan-Nyan, who ignored her.  
  
Hotohori glanced at Nakago. "She may have a point..."  
  
The blonde tossed her hair over her shoulder, her overly-large bosom bouncing with the movement. "Hmph! Then she changes us back - "  
  
"OI!!" Tasuki shouted, waving his arms and gesturing to himself, Nuriko, and the shell-shocked Chichiri.  
  
"Da-da-da-daaaaa!!! NUDE NYAN-NYANS!!!!" He shouted in terror, hiding his face in his arms, rocking back  
  
Nakago sighed impatiently. "Then she changes us ALL back and we don't kill her."  
  
Taiitsukun was about to say something when the Nyan-Nyan opened her big mouth.  
  
"AH! The Seishi & Miko team has entered into the tactic Negotiation!" She shouted gleefully, leaping into the air, clutching the bull-horn.  
  
"SHUT UP!!!" Nuriko and Tasuki screamed/bellowed at her. She fell off her little platform and ran into the audience of cheering Nyan-Nyans.  
  
Taiitsukun sighed. "You win...I will change all of you back..."  
  
She waved her hands, and they all looked down at themselves, relieved. Chichiri managed to lift his head, pry his eye open, and shouted:  
  
"I'M FREE NO DA!! I'M FREE!!!"  
  
They all grinned wickedly and began to advance on Taiitsukun, their stances menacing.  
  
Horrified, she backed away. "You-you...I changed you all back!"  
  
Nakago smirked coldly. "Yes. And we promised only not to kill you."  
  
*  
  
The screams could be heard for miles.  
  
*  
  
Taiitsukun staggered back to Mt. Taikyouku, quite a sorry sight.  
  
"You'll never do that again, I hope?" Asked a male voice. She looked up and glared at the two men standing there. "Shut up. Both of you."  
  
Suzaku and Seiryu shook their heads. "You messed with our seishi."  
  
She paled. "It was just for fun!"  
  
Seiryu's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Shut up, Old Bag."  
  
Suzaku smiled. "Yes, shut up. It's time we put an end to your 'fun'...or perhaps returned the favor...Wouldn;t you three agree?"  
  
The other three gods nodded in agreement, bringing out their own boxed.  
  
*  
  
The end!!! ^-^  
  
I'll let YOU imagine what happened to Taiitsukun!! ^_^  
  
(You fixed him! Yay!)  
  
Shut up!  
  
(NO!! BWA HA HA HA!!)  
  
*hits her over the head with the frying pan of doom*  
  
(O,o...*falls to the floor*)  
  
So! This is my first-ever, fully-done, more-than-one-main-character fic! ^_^  
  
I am so happy!!  
  
I hope that you all liked it! XD 


End file.
